• Caren

tippy-top of the big fat this-day-sucks pile

4/6/06

about ten minutes ago i was about to go into a building when i saw somebody walking towards me. "hm, i wonder what that homeless person is doing in alumni hall?" i thought. and then i realized that it was my reflection in the glass door.

this is not a pick-me-up entry. you have been forewarned.

because i haven't slept well in way too long and my hormone cycle is all out of whack and i was rude to somebody who didn't deserve it and my left wrist is sore and i burned my tongue and the world is unfair and there were grounds floating around in my coffee and there are too many things that i need to do and i still don't have a job and why does everybody look happy today except for me and i tried to contribute something and he said it didn't have a point but i'm too lazy and insulted to fix it and i'm afraid of taking risks and then i complain when nothing happens and i don't know if i'll ever change and on top of it all, on the tippy-top of the big fat this-day-sucks pile, i look like a homeless person because i haven't showered and i'm wearing four layers of i-feel-ugly clothes to fight off this unseasonably chilly april thursday.

and yes, that did make me feel better. a little bit.

judge me by my bad days. not by my good.

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