To the Kid Who Sits Near Me in Class:
the first time i saw you, my Hot Stuff radar went off. you probably heard it because you turned and looked at me, then smirked, which was certainly advantageous to the overall sly-and-sexy look i presume you were going for. by the way that you show up to class with your thick brown hair sculpted, your outfit nicely skimming your bodacious bod, and how you have perfected the i'm-cool-and-relaxed slouch in your chair, i suspect that your morning routine must include at least a few flirtatious glances and scowls at the mirror.
that's why it makes me wonder how you could be so well-groomed and ken-doll fine, yet neglect to deal with your intense and potent case of halitosis.
because it don't matter how your eyelashes fringe your gorgeous blue peepers. and it don't matter how enticingly your muscles move when you cross your arms across your chest. and it certainly don't matter that you own the entire a&f catalog. because i can barely stand to sit ten feet away from you, the stank is so almighty powerful.
you have forever ruined ken dolls for me.
please take care of it.
The Girl Who Sits Near You in Class