• Caren

CODE: morning surprise

4/4/06


saturday morning. 455 am. i'm awake in bed and i don't know why. maybe a sound outside my window. i sit up and look out. there are two people leaning against the adjacent wall, talking. casually. as if it were not 455 in the morning. as if it were not drizzling and cold. as if i were not staring out at them, wondering what the heck is up.

i lie back down in my nice warm bed and close my eyes. the talking ceases. i start to drift off, but then i hear a small thump. and some other noises. animal noises.

maybe that was the cue to put the pillow over my head, or shut the window. but i sit up and look out again, silly girl that i am. what do i see? what meets my innocent eyes? they are having sex on the hood of a car. directly beneath my window. at five in the am. in the rain. on the hood of a car. under my window. holy shite. sex. in the cold. at five am.

so of course, i turn on my light and scream out the window, "GET the *&$^% OFF MY CAR, you PERVS!"

so of course, i call campus safety and they bust in, sirens blaring, and drag off the half-clothed offenders, waking up the entire block.

so of course, i wake up my roommates and we stand at the window and throw rotten fruit and office supplies at them.

unfortunately, i didn't do any of those things. and i regret it. what i actually did was go back to sleep. but the image is burned into my brain. i'm still trying to close my eyes without seeing early morning light glinting off bare buttocks.

people are nasty.