• Caren

last day at BMCC


"caren" never struck me as such a hard name to get. so how come almost nobody gets it right on the first try? it's always, "carol?" or "carrie?" could be that i have a speech impediment, except that i don't.

today is my last day at BMCC. i've spent it filing and cleaning out my computer and desk drawers. feels like the last day of school, back when the last day was for stacking old textbooks and tearing down the bulletin boards. and every room in the school felt sort of eerie. like this very un-cozy, windowless office that is even less cozy and more windowless without my photos, post-its, and picture of a window stuck on the walls.

anyhow, i've had a few awkward "yes, i'm leaving but it's been a pleasure working with you... no i don't know where i'm going next... " conversations. i hate these things. when possible, i run away. grownups don't know how to be normal. no goodbye is better than pre-scripted goodbye.

ah, we're on the final hour...

so what do i plan to do next? well, tomorrow i'm going to sleep past seven. i'm probably going to make dinner a few times in the next week or so. and i'll look around for something else with which to occupy myself, hopefully in a way that will provide me with some funds to feed to my money-sucking car (which, right on cue, started off today by smelling oddly like burnt sugar and then smoking under the hood). i do believe i'd do better with a pack animal. such as a burro. with a carrot tied onto a stick by a string.

who knows, maybe this'll be that turning-point part of my life where i finally develop some sort of ambition.

i'm happy.