• Caren

until i fall down


some days i feel like screaming. and no, i'm not angry, i just want to see how loud i can get. just as, some days, i feel like sprinting or spinning until i fall down.

perhaps i am a little out of my head tonight.

the parents are going to china early early tomorrow morning. the cake and i shall fend for ourselves for three weeks. which sounds nice now but will probably turn out to be a lot harder than i think. living on your own in a college apartment is one thing. dealing with car trouble and taking out the trash on tues/thurs and making sure the water heater doesn't blow up and feeding an 18-year-old nutrient sucker is a whole different animal. larger, clumsier, and much more likely to cry out, "make me a sandwich, woman!"

holy week this year came at me with a bit of dread. i know he did it already, but on palm sunday it seems like we're waiting for him to do it again. endure betrayal. overcome the hate and stupidity with impossible love.

though all the pain and anguish is in the past, it seems to play over again.

but now that it's easter, i'm happy.

all of creation testifies and this life within me cries i know my redeemer lives