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  • Writer's pictureCaren

caramelly rhymes with vermicelli


in new developments, i am officially a "partner" at starbucks. i blush prettily to think that two years ago, i was still boycotting starbucks on hypothetical moral grounds that didn't technically exist. it had something to do with big businesses or corporate america or whatever. maybe i was trying to be edgy. i repent. ok, green siren. you win.

today was my first training day. the manager gave me lots of reading material about how to properly taste coffee. i need to distinguish the different characteristics of coffee such as body, acidity, aroma, and something else i can't remember right now. i shall learn to use words such as nutty, crisp, and caramelly. my new Coffee Passport educated me in the correct way to drink coffee. first you must deeply inhale the aroma. next, you must slurp in order to "spray the coffee across your entire palate." slightly gross-sounding, but i tried it on my way home and choked and almost got into an accident because i was coughing and laughing at myself for being a rice bucket (that's chinese for idiot).

if you ask me, this new job is a step up. only big trouble is explaining this change to folks who cannot fathom why anyone with a degree would leave a 9-5 in the city to make less than eight bucks an hour pouring coffee. can you understand it if i say that i prefer to enjoy life?

which leads me to my next point, that i have to thank God and my parents a hundredfold for letting me do my thing. to everyone who's ever asked or wondered why my siblings and i skipped the rebellious stage: it's difficult to rebel against parents when they're being reasonable and ridiculously supportive. for all their conservative chinese-ness, mom and dad never actually had a problem with me mismanaging my hair into its present nappy state, choosing an expensive college run by democrats, taking woodshop instead of unnecessary APs, and going out into public looking like a homeless person (to name a few). and somehow, they're still proud of me and think i'm great. how lucky am i? very, very lucky. to rebel against that would be mean and rotten. if i ever do, kick me in the pants because i'm an ungrateful little dirtball.

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