there are any number of lessons which could have been learned, had i been willing. there is also a multitude of sins i have tried to commit, all in an effort to teach myself the meaning of need. but lessons fail to stick with me, and all my rebellions have bought me nothing i can feel, touch, or hold.
why is faith so hard? is it even supposed to be difficult? do we torture ourselves over how much and how well when it should be only a matter of yes or no?