• Caren

so-and-so, such-and-such

3/28/06

my Lord God, i have no idea where i am going. i do not see the road ahead of me. i cannot know for certain where it will end. nor do i really know myself, and the fact that i think i am following your will does not mean that i am actually doing so. but i believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. -thomas merton

Q: what is it called when your worldview shifts three times in one week? A: schizophrenia

or maybe just too much thinking. he says this, she says that, i read so-and-so, but i think it means such-and-such. and then i go to bed and when i wake up i've changed my mind, and then it starts to rain and there it goes again. maybe my self-assurance needed to take a break. i would assume so. and my ability or desire to please and placate goes down and down, maybe temporarily, but for now it goes down and down and down.